On Critics and Criticism

There’s something I want to talk about that follows-up on a post I published prior to going to Anaheim a couple weeks ago. It also ties in nicely with some tough experiences friends around the country are going through right now. And that is this: putting something new into the world, changing something up, will inevitably invite commentary. Some of the commentary will be constructive, useful–feedback that will help you grow in your endeavors and be better than before. However, some of the commentary will be patently unhelpful–it will descend from some remote place without the benefit of context or compassion. These are comments only meant to wound or unmoor their target and they can be devastating.

I tell you this because I have been spending a lot of time buried in Daring Greatly, the excellent book by Brene Brown. I liked it so much I gave copies to my spouse and to the people with whom I work most closely. I figured we could all use it. I also took one of her quotes about criticism and had pins made, it resonated so clearly. Gave them to many of the people in my life who tirelessly put themselves out in the world, and in doing so, open themselves to the mindless chatter of people uninterested in doing anything but finding the cracks, waiting to drop the  I told you so.

Bad behavior like this happens regularly–it is predictable and rather dull in that there is little original or thoughtful in the sniping. I have watched some of this evidenced in public forums as of late (and to be clear, let me reiterate that I don’t lump all criticism in this category–just criticism that is unprofessional, poorly supported and/or mean-spirited). In reviewing some of these types of remarks today, I decided I needed a bit of brain bleach and wandered over to my blog roll for a few minutes of escape. And what did I find there? A post from swissmiss with Brene Brown’s keynote at this year’s 99U conference in New York:

“…if you’re not failing you’re really not showing up…”

Don’t get side-tracked by the fact that this is a talk for creatives. It equally applies to the work we do. Not just the work we do professionally, mind you, but also the work we do personally. It’s in the difficult (and often painful) choices we have to make; it’s in the decision to not just get by, but to be happy and fully ourselves; it’s in the way we let go of the sure thing when the sure thing no longer fits and go out into the abyss and hope for the best, knowing it could be a disaster.

The reality of being a young profession is that we have the opportunity and the burden to grow our discipline, fight the battles for recognition and understanding, and define exactly what it means to do this work. For everyone who is trail-blazing, who is trying something new, or who is changing something up because evolution is a thing, I encourage you to watch this talk. Even though I had heard (or read) much of it before, it was still just what I needed. I suspect you might feel the same way. Because I am getting my ass kicked in the arena on a regular basis. But there are so many of you in the arena getting your asses kicked with me.